Helping same sex attracted people

By Andrew Bunt

The importance of love : 

The real issue is about love and not sex. The world would tell us that sex is paramount whereas actually, it's love that we crave not sex. For people to know that they are loved is what really matters. Andrew said 'the more I know that I have people who love me and care for me, is the time my same sex attraction doesn't matter very much to me, and counterintuitively the closer I am to a guy who I know loves me and cares for me, the less likely it is that I will be attracted to him.'

The importance of identity :

Everything in our life is shaped by our identity. Truly understanding our identity is vital.

The importance of a big picture :

Scripture as story really matters. Seeing your life as part of the great story of the Bible and not simply swallowing a shallow gospel. It's only when we understand our sexuality within the story and see where it's all heading does our life make sense. SSA Christians need to know that big story.

The importance of talking :

Simple but powerful. To be same sex attracted can make you feel very fearful and isolated. Talking about it has the power to loosen the grip these things have on us. He experiences crushes like everyone else except that they are painful rather than exciting as he knows he'll never be able to act on it. Talking about it helps break the power of this too.

The importance of community : 

Similar to community but different enough that it's worth pointing it out. We have idolised the nuclear family at the detriment of community. Adam needed community, we need human relationship and community and so it is vital that we get this right. It must not be true in our churches that to be single is to be isolated and lonely. 

The importance of the Holy Spirit :

He helps us to live God's way, he points us to eternity and the wonderful new creation that's coming. It is the Holy Spirit who saves us and that means that it is just as likely for a deeply entrenched in the gay scene person to become a believer as it is for a nice middle class person to get saved.

Singleness - Impact 2016

Singleness, a theology:

39% of Uk are single
29% of church are


OT - to be single and childless is seen to be under a curse from God
NT - Jesus is really positive about singleness and Paul says 'I wish you all were single'

Why is singleness a bad thing in the OT and then a good thing in the NT?

First of all we need to bear in mind that the Bible is one big story:

Eden - the story starts with a promise for restoration and therefore marriage and having children is really important.

Abram - God makes an unconditional promise. The promise of the serpent crusher is handed to Abraham. Therefore having children is really important. 

Moses - Pharaoh isn't pleased with the number of children they're having. God gives them a new covenant, a covenant of law and God promises that if they keep God's law then God he will give them the blessings of the law. In ancient Israel if you don't have kids it's seen as something that is happening to you because you are a law breaker.

Isaiah - In a time of judgement and during the exile the prophets come and call out the promise of an offspring, one single child who will make a huge difference. The servant songs in Isaiah are about this offspring. 'When his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring, he shall prolong his days.' Through this one individual will come many offspring. Then there is the song of the barren woman in which it says the barren woman is going to be more blessed and have more children than her neighbour who has natural offsprings. Eunuchs also are promised that rather then being called 'dry trees' they will be given a name better than sons.

Jesus - The 'one' single offspring comes. The promises aren't fulfilled through having lots of children but through the one offspring from God. Before Christ childlessness was a curse, after Christ, anyone can receive the blessings of the covenant. Jesus tells us that in the new creation there will be no marriage, he points further than our day. 

When the disciples hear Jesus' teaching on marriage they respond by saying 'if that's the case it'd be better not to marry,' to which Jesus says 'yes, you're right.' He says then 'not everyone can receive it' (Mt. 19:10), in other words 'not everyone can handle it.

Jesus says that there are Eunuchs from birth, or who are made Eunuchs by men and then says something really quite shocking when he says 'and there are those who will become Eunuchs for the kingdom' as a devoted single servant of the king. This is remarkable especially in light of the Bible's story as a whole and its emphasis on childbearing and blessing.

Paul on singleness:

• I wish you were all single like I am.
• Singleness also means celibacy.
• Being single doesn't make you superior.
• If you're single and want to get married, that's ok.

Why does he say singleness is good?

Ans. There was 'present distress' in Corinth at the time, because time is at a premium now, and singleness gives you freedom from anxiety (worldly concerns).

Conclusion: Singleness is good. This side of Jesus things have changed, singleness is no longer a curse but a blessing.